Doogie still sick, my decisions still clashing, my predicaments getting clearer...
         ... I am starting to understand that everything that makes me sad is other people's demands that I can't keep up and while trying, foregoing my own ideals ...
         The General may suffer for it at the moment... He can't keep up. But he suffers more when I am sad. So I am going to try and show him what I mean by following my own rules. It's a little bumpier ride than what he has been used to...


Though like Marilyn Monroe said - if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best...