The Audition Finale

 

The Audition thingie is done. It was remarkably hectic and fulfilling. ‘Tech’ stood up to it’s horrific reputation :D Loved it, all of it. Of course after the pinnacle of the show, there was some fallout drama :D Not the unexpected kind, of course. The people who didn't win were angry, then sorry, then defeated. I’ve been avoiding social sites, but here’s a word to the young: when you get yourself manipulated into saying something angry for someone, when the blowback comes and that someone you were speaking for turns against you in a second, don’t come crying to the people you were speaking against. The tiny winner was adorable, tearful and whatnot. The whole catalogue. It hurt a little that she, when thanking the staff, forgot to thank the photographer, but there you have it. People get pretty pretty pictures and I get the fuck off. Welcome to my life. The part that involves other people. All my kindness is always so thoroughly wasted. Don't know why I don't just drop the patience. This is the ironic part. Thing is I find myself trying really hard to deliver my part of the deal and make people feel good about themselves with the results. All those hours and hours, days and days editing shots so that there’s no pimples, dimples, odd hair, marks, lard, ugly knees, heavy lids, lifeless eyes, uneven lips or lack of luster, and nobody cares. That’s me. Just pressing the big button. I am cooled by the professional weight of my machine as much as Mark is warmed by my grip. Everything else is just light and geometry thrown against us. 

  

And of course my favorite part of any aftermath is people telling me how thing should have been done instead. Not colleagues, oddly enough, but people who have never in their entire existence had any professional dealings with neither fashion nor shots not shows. Those are the smartest. I love being talked to as if I’m a retarded four-year old. 

Bottom line, I really liked the finale. I was really proud of us. We got really far. The girls had a great time, I think. The designers were happy. The proprietress was happy. I shot loads of mid-step takes, which I’m trying to perfect into a recognizable style. And if I find there’s anything in it for me other than ungrateful forgetfulness and insatiable ‘is this all there is, isn’t there any more?’, I’m really looking forward to the next attempt at greatness.