Saving private Stanley .. Alas, unsuccesfully :/

 Stanko, in memoriam.
 

So, dad calls me and we chat and whatnot and he asks if I planned on coming uphill today. I said that, being so incredibly hot, I was actually planning on barricading myself in and not moving until Wednesday. He asked if I would come anyways, because they found a snake tangled in the nets (anty-hail nets on grapes) and he would need help getting it untangled. I said, damn, okay, but can I come in the evening so i don't catch a stroke in the car? This of course didn't roll, even I knew that, because chance would be the snake got a stroke first. This was a rescue operation. Dad asked me to go to my television thingie (internet) and see what sort of a snake it was. I supposed it was an Aesculapian. Dad said it was very pretty indeed, about a meter long, golden green, pale on the belly. He just said to make sure it's not venomous. You know. So I won't be in any danger, should I assist him.

...

... dad?
Yes?
Have you been bitten by a snake and don't wanna tell mum?
Well, yes, now that you mention it.
Holy shit! When was this??
Bout two hours ago.
And?? have you been feeling sick, swelling, seizing, foaming at the mouth and suchlike??
Not really, no.


So, I drove up in the heat of the heatwave and we set off to rescue Stanley. Unfortunately, Stanley wasn't the most serpentine of snakes and he/she unfortunately managed to strangle itself, desperately trying to cawl THROUGH the nets. We brought scissors to try and help, but it was too late. Poor thing was already hissing through the tall grasses of snakey heaven. Dad got really sad :(

I taught dad the safe word, so that next time when he asks me when I'm coming uphill again, I'll know he's actually asking me to call an ambulance. Luckily, this was 'snake bit a man and died' scenario. He used to catch venomous ones when he was young, in the army, but that was, say, 50 years ago.

Every morning I go through my speed-dial list of sites, to see what's new in the parts of the world that interest me. Wiki, blogs I follow, iMDb, Youtube, Deviant Art, RottenTomatoes, Metacritic, CNN, TED talks, HelloGiggles and a hentai hardcore site that shall remain unnamed. I used to follow twitter, but they banned me, though I never learnt why.

Anyhoo. By the end of this round, I am almost always completely upset. And this is before I even make it to the sex part. For example, today I was reading about the Italy's ministress (minister of integration), Cecile Kyenge. For being a lady of colour, she has had bananas thrown at her and a senator compared her to an Orangutan. Granted, Italy is famous for having truly retarded politicians (let's recall the man-whore Berlusconi, who told Obama he looks well tanned). But still. That amount of stupidity depresses me to no end.

On the other hand, I read an article that a Maasai elder is trying to encourage his tribe into ... well, not 21. century, that would be pushing it, but at least, say, 12th. He wants to bring telecommunications to people, educational programs, encouraging women to take up small businesses, stuff like that. Of course instantly he is getting big words from people who seem to exist merely to preserve the stone-ageness of Maasai. Because they are so quaint and pretty. Nevermind they exist in the sort of mentality that got outdated 2 million years ago. As long as they stay pretty, female circumcision and illiteracy is cute.

I wish someone would call me racist, but it has to be someone who was there longer than me and lived with more Africans than I did.

On the other hand, a Ugandan midwife is considered for a Nobel Peace Prize. In some theory, helping so many babies survive is just leading the nation into an overpopulation that will sport more poverty, but fuck it. Any of the surviving newborns could be the next Mandela.

She was so funny, this lady. She said the one drug they have plenty to give to young mothers in pain, is Verbocain.

Work it out. It's pretty funny (and sad, too), when you realise what she's saying. :D

Ah, baths :/

Had my first bath in, uh, seven or eight years. Actually, I can't remember when was the last time I did that. I don't like baths. I keep looking at the water and freaking out, because there's tiny things floating in it. Ewwh. The showering these days is more like stepping into the tub, opening the tap and just being able to breathe again. I do that four or five times minimum. The bath, though, was desperate measures. It's literally a 100 degrees outside. It is sick hot. And humid. Stale, nasty heat, billowing in, every time you even just LOOK outside a window. And me being me, I had to bake another cake for G WHILE making fifty pancakes for mum and dad (and dogs) in three simultaneous pans. That got me so warm, my hairs were standing up. So mum suggested I just fill the tub with cold water and turn the jacuzzi on. Uhhhhhhhh... That felt GOOOooD... My marrow stopped bubbling again. There were bubbles! And it smelled nice! Baths rock!

BINTM9

Watching Top Model again ... I love this show. It's my guilty pleasure and I suppose I will always secretly plan our next Audition project :/ Even if that's only so that i will be able to take a million shots of a hundred really cool girls. The show I'm at now is the ninth cycle of the Britain and Ireland setting. Not sure what other Brit cycles were like, but this one only has three judges, maybe not the most interesting judges, and their panel is done in reverse. Another main difference is that most of the time things said are positive and encouraging. In the American shows, most of the critique is negative. Especially the latest panel, what with Kelly and that graceless internet freak brian something, most of what they say is very very whip lashing on the girls. Then again American girls are a lot tougher. I can imagine the attacked girl go backstage, fuck and bitchslap the little asshole at the same time. Blog about that, you shitty tiny individual.

Because I am a sucker for gingers, obviously, my favourite to begin with is Sarah - a twisted looking little mutant that cries a lot. She sooo reminds me of one of the girls we had. That one also looked like a mutant and she was also incredibly nervous all the time. I love her story and her home and how she'll eventually come out of her shell (as far as i can see on portfolio). She may not win, dunno, and she may not stay my favourite, but she's just so cute. there are plenty who are beautiful and plenty who are obvious forerunners - and some that i just can't look at or listen.

And you get some really cool lines :D "It's like being in like a really chic prison. With like really nice lamps." :)))))

Canon 1d mark x Vs. Nikon 4d

... Drooling over porn for nerds, it does make you think ... is it just me, or are Canon and Nikon the same exact firm? I mean ... they always put two exactly the same products on the market AT EXACTLY THE SAME TIME... O.o  Not one invents an amazing product and the other kind of catches up eventually. (I'm thinking iPad and Surface) No. One launches an amazing product and within the moment, the other throws out the identical twin cousin.  I'm not saying just visually. They also have the exact same features. Even dramatic, strange stuff, like the modest amount of pixels or built-in two slot data synch.

That's really some amazing industrial espionage, or a really blatant singularity.

Dear Santa ...

The reader, the baker ...

Can't get enough of Kershaw's Hitler. That is such a good book! I've had it for 24 hrs and already I am on page 12o (= a lot). There are some flaws, for sure, and some German street names are ridunkjulus (especially when I am reading it out loud for mum and dad and get stuck in a whirlwind of letters), but even though the start of his political career is tedious and the author has to pick out actual events from a sea of bogus later-years propaganda, stressing this almost every other line, it is such a good read. Intensely detailed and still very fast paced. It has been easy going so far, because the guy was mostly a hermit for the first 30 years. Later big fat names will join the swirl. I'm at the point where he decides to become the contra-revolutionarist. Whatever that actually was. They called 'the revolution' when pangermanic side of the WWI lost and some people claimed they've had it with bad political decisions. Those were so called revolutionaries. But not really. He's not an actual activist, just a noisy opinionist. He discovers his singular talent: talking very loudly to already angry peeps. It was just shitty post-war times and people liked to listen to a small, ugly dude on bar tables and soap boxes and scream how shitty post-war the times are.

On a related subject, I came downhill early today, some because I made a cool Sacher cake (needs more chocolate, though. It can be denser.) for hubsies and I was anxious for him to eat it and some 'cause my sister made everyone feel bad again. That is such a graceless individual. As I dragged cake (big cake, nomm-nomm) to the car, I turned and saw dad (whom I didn't see afterwards, not sure where he went to calm down), stood on the porch, looking at me. Traditionally we yell 'bye-bye!' a lot and wave across both estates. It's an ampytheatrical hillside and it's kind of cute. Here, I just put both my opened palms up and he put both his palms up, arms up entirely, and we just kinda, mutely, waved happy waves. Poor dad. He can see the benefits and lowpoints of having opinionated offspring. Never a dull moment, really.

Wolverine wasn't nearly as bad as I feared..

Thanks to Maja, my movie-going buddie, I got to check out the latest X-men (and surely there will be more.) I didn't expect it to be anything much in a sense beyond it's regular setting, but I'm happy to admit I was wrong. This could have been a whole lot more terrible. And I haven't even yet had the chance to read the comic.
     My biggest concern was what will Tao Okamoto be like. She is one of my favourite Asian models (alongside Sun Fei Fei) and having an Asian supermodel cast as a lead damsel-in-distress of a superhero movie doesn't always necessarily pan out. As it turns out, she is amazing. All 24 pounds of her. (True, she is at times painful to watch, because she seems like one third of an actual person in width.) It's been a while since I saw such grace and beauty in a first-timer. Usually they are a lot more desperate. oddly enough, besides japan, who has a prominent role, thank you, photography director, all women in this film are impressive. The tiny fire sprite is adorable and the Russian venom lady is just the right amount of utter bitch to full the role perfectly. Men are slightly more predictable, but I imagine that's what most will go see: action.
    Now I'm sleepy. My twitter acound has been suspended, no idea why. See me mourn.

I've just realised I've been saying the word candlebra wrong for the past 20 years. It's CANde-LA-BRA.

We live in learn so, oh, so.

Kershaw's Hitler

Quite by coincidence I found that book on the shelves today - as it has been almost a year we've wanted to read it, but it was always spoken for. Naturally, me being me, I had to drag the biggest fkng book ever uphill for a bit of light reading. I skipped the intro, because, well, I won't manage to read this whole mess in two weeks. But already I love the first paragraph. It says: the one thing Adolf felt grateful to his father was changing his name into Hitler, because "Heil Schicklgruber" somehow wouldn't quite hit it. LoL.
        Been thinking, a hateful person towards Jewesh people is called Antisemitic. What is a person hateful at Nazis called? Humans?

Another heat wave coming up. This is soooo messing with my sex life.. I have no money left (thank you, Mladinska knjiga, thank you for fucking up my summer. Of COURSE the editor fled to vacation, leaving me behind like the last bucket of shit, completely carefree about my vacation. Like why the fuck would I even deserve any, right, dear?), so no prospect of making myself ice-cream baths. Or at least showers. Those are good stuff. You can drink, eat and freeze over at the same time.
          General is shipping me off to my parents until the heat passes. I've finished working on the catalogue more or less, so no need for me to stick around, really. I'll edit Gorgi on the iPad and read or write until somebody pays me for something and I can turn the airconditioning back on. Though both can be a while - the heat wave and my pathetic ability to collect due fees.

            I've finished reading a cute book - I read the ending beforehand, so basically my endless track record of never actually finishing any book stands fairly untarnished. It was a really lovely read, although it describes some fairly fucking awful scenes from the WWII... And most gross of it all is some parts regarding parasites - due to involuntary lack of hygiene and famine. Gross gross gross.
           It's possible the Steve Jobs autobiography will arrive soon, so I'll read some realistic work for a while... I didn't like Gatsby much. I mean, it's extraordinary literature, but those poor/awful people were just too much for my tender soul. I like blunt, direct stuff, like orc gang rape fan fiction or romantic adventure stuff like that. Deterioration of the soul... that just unsettles me and I cry. And I can't cry now. I'll dehydrate.

RIP Dennis Farina. World lost a great mustache indeed. 

Ssoooo sleepy. I slept less than 5 hours tonight and not from wishing it so. Worked all day yesterday. Made dumplings in the evening, uphill. Walked home with five pounds of fruit for G. But the highlight (or low point, however you wanna call it), came after I already hit the horizontal: a bunch of fucking assholes decided midnight on a Monday is a ripe time to bring out guitars and happyhappy drugs and sing. Not sure if it was ten badly in-tune people or twenty okay ones, but the whole thing sounded terrible. And it came and went in waves, because of course nobody knew any of the songs whole. Even the songs i LIKE. Did I mention I live in the most acoustic street ever? The sound doesn't diminish down it, it amplifies. It's dead down-town, buildings are tall and close together and fairly flat. Finally, at around one-ish the cops came and asked them to clear the fuck off, nicely. But of course by then I only had until 5am to pass out and catch the zzz. Then doggie walk time. At least that was chilly and very pleasant and I got plenty done until now.
       But now I gotsta catch up on it. I'm starting to exercise dyslexia. I'm typing like a person who has potatoes instead of fingers.

My WoW subscription is soon to expire. dark times ahead. Very dark times.  O.o

Azog's full size model at Comic Con .... suuu-weeeeet

Me likey :D
Even though he's green here, as opposed to his actual pale blue .
Love the skirt made of dwarf face skins :D Pretty impressive, considering this is from a children's film. Does the Armitage guy, what'shisface, Oakenshield, have drapes made of orc face skin? I highly doubt it.
I would enjoy me some gnome killing with this little darling. Gnomes are great to kill. You just stomp them. Except gnome rogues. Those suck. Those are like crabs with chainsaws. And I'm not talking the sea-dwelling crabs.


On a related subject: Stephen Hawking was at the Comic Con! COME ON!!!

Shooting a workclothes catalogue today. Actually a refreshingly pleasant workday.

Drej and her hubs bubs were kind enough to pose as live-doll models (thanks guys, you were pros!) and thanks to Katja B. for acting as the shoot coordinator. And of course thanks to my gear for not fucking anything up. Sometimes you are waaay ahead of me.

Impressive posters for I, Frankenstein

I can't get over how shitty the attitude towards authors is. Seriously, like all this is funny to someone. I am starting to believe that editors and publicists truly hate authors out of sheer envy and frustration and take their tiny fart of power just to rub salt into wounds that they inflicted. This, as a last act they can possibly take.
      I asked my editor - who knows my company went bankrupt while I was waiting for them to remember we had a contract - to speed up paying my fee for the book. Considering nobody cared what we were doing or how we do it when they pushed the book for half a year and it had to be finished in a month, come rain or hail. She said sure thing. Then, a month later, I asked what the fuck? She said she said she'll TRY. Okay. Fine. Do that, then. Then she said it's not so easy with people being on vacations and whatnot. I asked - ALL of them? The whole department? She wrote back she has to ask her boss first and he is on vacation. It truly is hard, when your boss goes on vacation suddenly, five months BEFORE you say you'll try to ask for something. Oh, he didn't go five months earlier? He went recently? Why didn't you ask him then, then??
      And so on and so forth. OF COURSE this is just a flying fuck of naivete on my part. I KNOW that. The money will be there on the last fucking day of contract. Perhaps a day or two over that.

I am making a list of things I am going to buy with it. Slowly and carefully. Starting with the:

- Soraya
- Gorgi
- Adorable shit from all over Drej's market. I'll just ape shit on that.
- Shoes for mum and dad
- Take my whole family for diner on my birthday
- some other stuff I really want but can't think of right now... probably regarding books.
- possibly change a haircolor
- probably some clothes. G insists.
- Oh, and possibly a new watch for G, as I broke his last two   O.o

General's line of the week: running shoes

Drej asked if we should sign up for a micro marathon. I'm all game for it, as lately it feels really good and relaxing to run - except, as General put it well: I need better running shoes and a very tight bra (before I kill somebody).
      Regarding shoes, I said: Perhaps yes on the shoes - although I bought expensive ones, my ankles and shins really burn if I over-do it.
      He said: Of course they do. You bought expensive shoes based on the colour. 

Lovely peaceful day :D
It feels SOOOO good that General is allowed to walk around. Also, it takes 180 days to wait in turn for physicaltherapy and a friend got us in next Monday. This is from tears to grins situation. And a close cut. Fuck the health system in this land.
We spent the evening playing rep WoW, listening to Nina Simone and modern Charleston. I watched some Moomin episodes on YouTube. I love the scene in which Little My tells Snufkin they should date. It's not known whether he is aware of their relation or not, but his reaction is funny either way. Although he has been known to express affection, I suppose the thought of dating the worst little girl ever is beyond his stoic nature. Or he simply knows they're siblings.

I have to say I am not fond of the Tove Janssen documentary. It makes her out as a depressed dyke, hating the fact she was only famous for the Moomins and nothing else she did (as much). Another damn Alma. Why can't people who make such excellent fables be happy people IRL??

Finally something to watch a.k.a. Few very good (albeit at times damn depressing) procedurals

LUTHER (now on season 3)

Idris Elba is outstanding, but that's not why this show is so good. Much like Sherlock, it swirls wildly on the main character, but the disgusting reality of his work and his broken life are almost an art form of it's own. There's a moment in which a very old, very sick - and by sick I mean gruesome - serial killer/mentor talks about why Chinese bound the feet of girls. It wasn't because of the feet at all. It was because when forced to walk like that, they gained very muscular vaginas.
         Stuff like that makes this show incredibly good and incredibly hard to watch.

 

Still waiting to see the most alluring serial killer on BBC return :) Her presence is constantly highlighted.

THE BRIDGE

Too soon to talk of actual overall greatness, as I've only seen one episode, but I love to listen to the Spanish dialogues, repeating them out loud, Diane Kruger is lovely (like the review writer said - you should decide whether her performance is great or awful and stick to that.) and the contrast between the sides is so wonderfully illustrated it just might work.

THE KILLING (also on season 3 atm)

Same as Luther (only a lot slower and more to do with consequences than actual crimes), this show makes you feel that no matter what you find out, what you solve, things are only going to get darker and worse.

Pacific Rim

... By Gods, that was a lot of smashing. :D

Watching Luther (I'll get to that in a bit), I'm thinking, perhaps I fancy Idris Elba so much, because he is almost exactly like the General IRL. Same "haircut", mostly same shape of the nose and brow, same figure, same way of walking, same deep, warning voice, same calm but dangerous demeanour, even the same expression when they are in love. You'd think they are strangling a dolphin, but in fact they are being adorable. :)))

For the past few days, I haven't had the luxury of internet – a luxury that gets under your skin within minutes and makes you forget the ancient times when not every household had, say, three. Last night I had to get, literally, out of my chair TWICE: to look for information in BOOKS. Actual books. Made of paper. I had to get up and find my old school Latin dictionary, wipe the dust and dead spiders off it, FLIP the pages and discover the word I was after. And then, only moments later, I was lost at finding exactly how many lights years are in a kiloparsec. Again. Had to get up. Get the book. Wipe it. Flip it.

It is getting decadent around here. I cannot find out when the library is open, because I would have to actually walk to it and check. (Or call, but I don't have my phone with me either.) This blackout is causing me to panic. I haven't checked my email in a day! I have NO idea what that Barbra Streisand boxing movie was called! I don't know the word for female genitalia in Australian Aboriginal language!?? How can I ever know what I want for my Chinese delivery, if I can’t see the menu??

Okay, breathe. Just charge your paddie, go across the street to the cafe, connect to the real world there. See? No biggie. Aboriginal word for cunnie is gumirri.

Only politics I follow is in Warcraft...

For the record - I really don't fancy Vol'Jin as the next Warchief. That vindictive moron is like a parrot echo of Garrosh, with the word Darkspear put in instead of Orc. Same speeches, same passion, same pride, only far less charisma. I am still rooting for G to get a grip on himself, possibly after he's been thoroughly bitchslapped and his demonic ego boost depleted.

Populaire

It's been ages since I saw a non-American movie (okay, days, but I'm not counting Asian one in this post), but besides Russian stuff, I think I like French the best, because Russian and French are the two languages I understand enough to enjoy. Maja's choice of the week was Populaire, though Lone Ranger would have been the more obvious choice of a popcorn summer flick. I am very glad we agreed on Populaire, though. That movie was just ADORABLE!

     It's a very light romantic dramedy, with the lead heroine being the most cheerful person I've seen since .. Amelie. There were several situations in which my American-movies-trained-brain would have expected a completely different result, but the french are way too relaxed and at times really oddly passionate. There's a scene in which he slaps her and it's fine. Also, a scene in which he very explicitly fondles her breasts, and that's made so nicely, too. And of course my favourite scene - when he sneaks into her room to return a bra she left behind in a washer - indeed a really awkward setting to be found in, but instead of freaking out, assuming he's a perv, she just laughs. "I have a pair of matching panties, if you're looking for a set?" :D That was just so cute!!!

The story is about a small village girl, smart and lovely, but lonely, who secretly teachers herself to type to become an adventurous, modern woman secretary. Although she is ghastly bad as a secretary and really incredibly clumsy, she is a champion self-taught typist. Her alright, but emotionally troubled boss convinces her to enlist on a typing championship and after a year of tutoring, she starts to win national. But he still has issues and she learns the world isn't all that's cracked up to be when you're alone, even if on covers of magazines, so of course they get back together. It's not a depressing story at all. It's incredibly uplifting. Both actors - all of them, in fact even the horrid American-french Shaun Benson's Bob is adorable. The casting is fairly caricatured, but that's okay.

Also some of the best bits: When she mentions she might have ruined the shredder. When he paints her fingernails as a lesson. The fact that her dad never actually sells the typewriter. The fashion, oh my GOds! How I love that fashion! I somehow always see Carrie Ann-Moss in that, I have no idea why (Maybe Fido?), but I really like that period. The mid fifties. I would look awful in it, because I am shaped like a sheep, but my camera would be drooling every day. So would Sartorialists.