Wednesday 19 April 2017



Such a wild day. Drej and I had a nice walk, though it’s fucking cold for April, and windy, and talked about photography a lot, which always makes me feel good. I got closer to my triptych herbarium idea, which g upgraded saying I should also make a story out of following the life on an anthill, and while I waited for him and internet was down, I photographed spoons. Just because. G slept a couple of hours, then offed to have a brunch date, but got a call to report to the downtown office. I always get nervous during those calls, and when he called me back, he was a little stunned, too. He also had to go to the grocery store, which I am not allowed to accompany, because I suck at buying proper food, so I had to wait at home for him to return and we’ll go out for a coffee. A little while later he calls and I hop down and he’s sitting in the window at the entrance with one of THOSE expressions. He says he finally bought himself the birthday present that’ll make him happy. It’s outside. I walk out carefully, half expecting a Harley Davidson or a pet dragon or at least a puppy (we got THIS close to buying a pale Husky wolf-look-alike), but it’s an off-road bike. I say: But you already have an off-road bike. “It’s for you, you idiot.” Why would you buy ME a bike for YOUR birthday? Because you looked miserable the last time we went on a bike ride, using your dumpy old town bike. And making you happy makes me happy.
                O.o
Blimey.
                Of course it’s been so long that I can no longer ride a bike and am notoriously afraid of being killed in traffic, seeing me try to ride it was a tragic affair – which brought back the memories of the first day we met – when he watched me try to ride a moped.
                During coffee, he explained what the call to the office was about. One of THOSE calls. And it’s a pickle. General is not a person who likes change to come dramatically, unlike me, who has an orgasm seeing new movie posters being put up. We spoke at length about pros and cons, agreeing he’ll need more information before even knowing how to feel about it. Dad called me to ask how come I haven’t come uphill yet to mow the lawn with the new mower. Because it’s been raining and snowing, dad? I’m Rambo, but I’m not Bear Grylls.
                We couldn’t nap, so we just lay in bed entwined and talked, then he offed to nap in the bathtub full of hot water – something he does – and back in bed I made an effort to demonstrate (I suck as reacting to presents properly. I get choked up as the feels get stuck at the bottleneck, which can be misconstrued as indifference, yet is anything but) exactly how in love with him I am and how my brain is full of bike-trip plans. When he still couldn’t sleep I showed him a bunch of adorable Huawei p10 commercials. (Carl! :D ) and then played WoW until finally I heard him breathe in his sleep mode. I’m going uphill tomorrow and hopefully he’ll get his much needed – and much avoided – sleep, then we plan to go out for his birthday lunch, the three of us.
                Lemme see if I’ll be able to take some of the proposed herbarium pickies. I lack terribly Drej’s calm consistency. I want to make an effort at posting something predictable every day, but am so far only editing old, dramatic, dark nostalgic portraits...

I'm hyping the reds in the BWs to the max. It results in nothing anyone would ever like - except this mood I'm in... this odd Dustbowl capacity to it.. The kind of life and death you don't ever get in pretty pretty pictures ...

(In reality, this is a very lovely schoolgirl, in case anyone freaks out.)

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