Friday, 19 January 2018

Shot a boudoir yesterday, or at least a test run with the new stuff... I didn't suck completely, but looootsta to learn :D Also got a new phone, because the old one was trying really really hard to stay alive, alas, after 8 years ...It's not new new, but it does open Pokemon Go, so... yay! I'm, only 3 years behind my time, tech-wise.. Not too shabby!

Wednesday, 17 January 2018

... those who carry their own light with them in suitcases

Okay, here we are. The first false light in. I have become of those who carry their own light with them in their suitcases.

Well, manufacturer boxes, as I cannot ATM afford anything other than the light.
Just one. A light. But it packs a punch.

G et moi drove to the capital to see how exactly the lights offered in the only shop with studio gear found so far, actually looks like. This was a good plan. As it turns out, the ones I had my eye set on were shit. If I ordered them on-line, I’d have been heartbroken.

Ultimately, for the budget I had, instead of three lights and a frame for background, I came home with just the one light. It’s shiny – nowhere near as shiny as I would need for bigger things, but shiny enough to try and learn how to use it to the best of its possibilities. I also purchased the big oblong reflector thingie and ages ago, a long long time ago, I incidentally bought on-line and have never been able to use until now, a particular beauty dish. Which I now need to find under a mountain of unused gear.

Now I need a patient victim to practise on. And I need to figure out transport, because once we managed to assemble the softbox, I am NOT doing that again.


… and now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go and try to fold back the fucking shiny thing ….

Monday, 15 January 2018

International fetish day

G says if I bring home another button, he will beat me to death with it.

:D
Mnjah mnjah mnjah..

Friday, 12 January 2018


I'm five sheets out of seventeen or eighteen in, sketching the picturebook. So far, I think, it's lovely, but you never know what the client will say. Goose is on pause until these based mock-ups are done, then I need about a month to let them simmer and set. As the deposit hasn't been paid just yet, I haven't been allowed to order any gear on-line. But I'm making lists, oh, lists :D And planning SUCH photoshoots, oh! :D

For the budget G is allowing me to keep (he knows me too well), I've assembled a basic studio set, consisting of two tall tripods and the pole betwen them for background (I want them tall and wide, because it's all fine and cute when it's just one sitter, but if you have a band, and you want anyone to actually move or jump, 3meters is not as much as you thought ... And a black background to begin with. I'll add more later. 
      As for the lights... Here are my two problems. I have absolutely no idea about the lights. None. I know I want: a) continuous illumination, because I am not a fan of flash-lights or strobes ... and b) I want soft-boxes, not LEDs. I know LEDs may be better, or even exactly what I want, but I need three decent lights to begin with, not one perfect one. I'll buy a LED at some point, sure. But ... It would help if I had any idea what I'm buying. Which I don't. I spent all my career using two shabby dumpy construction reflectors someone had to hold up and move closer or further out. 

Oh, and I need a bag. Or something, anything, to carry all this shit around in. You really can't be taken seriously if you show up on a set with four construction lights in shopping bags and a background you borrowed off your mother's curtains. I mean, you can. I just wanna see what it's like if you don't. :D

I, Tonya

Sad, really.


Thursday, 11 January 2018

...

And in the afternoon naps I get these nightmares about the house burning. Not even burning, just ... the firemen noise right under the window, smoke and not knowing is it our house, is it the next house - what is it? Then grab the kid, who grabs the dog, gets the cats into their box, goes out .. Me, grab the comp disks, the camera gear.. What else can I carry? My chalks, my inks? Those are all in tin boxes, they would be fine in either fire or deluge from the hoses ... The thousands of my books? Nobody else would bother saving books....
 .... I wake up from these and my heart is buzzing. Literally buzzing. Like a bunch of tiny pistons hammering one humming buzz.

:/
I've been having these adorable gentle sex dreams about Daisy Ridley, at least since I saw her play a corpse in some instantly forgettable procedural series – her tiny boobies and that face just do it for me these days, it seems :) I've also tried watching The Shape of Water: making of Abe Sapien, which for all intents and purposes should be right up my alley: it’s got everything I would ever want from the genre – it’s witty, sexy, original and the lady fucks a creature from the blue lagoon. What’s not to love? She even lives above a theatre…. Kinda makes me question, if a room that shabby got filled with so much water, wouldn’t the ceiling of a hall as large as a film theatre collapse under the weight?
Right. But anyway, they fuck and then she dies.
I am starting to notice, after mother!, I demand more than served-on-a-dessert-plate product from people known to be magical. This shit is good. But it’s Hollywood good. I want del Toro good. I don’t want movies the people who awarded Shakespeare in Love award – I want movies that Jodorowsky and Aronofski would award. 

Wednesday, 10 January 2018





Where or where oh the fuck where is my camera tripod? O.o

Sunday, 7 January 2018

Testing brushes ...

Do we prefer it bright or the opposite?




The bright. Me, too :D


Saturday, 6 January 2018

Goose bits: Kay tries to find Fidi in Hell



I sank to her level like a stone.

There was a garden. It was beautiful a moment ago, but now a nightmare. Black were trees and windows and the air and a man stood in it, with red hands dripping and a demon – nay, not a demon, but a demonic version of himself climbing on his back. In fact all shadows formed into this man, each uglier than the next, each with face worse contorted in either agony or ill intent. The demonic self got all but on the top of his head, grand to have achieved it, jeering at me, they were both staring at me, clawing until it managed to break a collarbone from the red-handed man and with it stabbed the man in the neck enough times to break off the head and into the chest enough times to carve out the heart. The shadow selves tore apart the head, looking for something, and the demonic self tore apart the heart, looking for something, getting ever more hysterical and insane when it could not be found. Whatever it was it was very small, but how would they know where to look if everything before me was black?

The black fell asleep. Gardens and demons and things not found were gone.

I have never seen such beautiful nothingness. This was the most at home and at ease I have ever suspected one could learn to feel. Every promise was delivered and every prayer praised for its fine rhetoric. Pleasantly, reassuringly, I got permission to belong to the entirety of the scenery, the fragrantless wind, the assuring gravity, the calmest of nights, the …

     … Huh, I chuckled, looking around. Right back at where we started.
     She stood knee deep in dead water.

Thursday, 4 January 2018

Overlay overload

Trying out some downloaded overlays ... They're not as good as the paid ones, but fascinating regardless. I have better studio lights set at the top of my wishlist... Bigger ones, specifically, so i don't just get the face but also the beautiful bodies of these ladies. 




(also secretly buy yourself 8000 buttons on-line)


Sometimes you do something so right you can't wait to get home and make yourself pancakes, give your lover a blowjob and then play something on your guitar. Even if you can't play a guitar :D

Monday, 1 January 2018

I was feeling quite good about my GuruShots stats... up until the moment I saw what the winner shots looked like ...

... now I'm depressed.
Fuck that.

Not the sharpest, as it was windy AF, but happy New Year's y'all ...